Psa 118:17+
I shall not die, but live, and declare the works of the Lord. The Lord has chastened me sore: but He has not given me over to death.
I will praise Thee: for Thou hast heard me, and art become my salvation
In July 2001 I was diagnosed with Myelofibrosis. Just before I had to go to another specialist, I had to go for more blood tests. This time the news was even worse: I was also diagnosed with Chronic Myoloid Leukemia in the blastic phase. According to the one specialist, I had three months to live and they could do nothing for me – the first cancer prevented me from getting treatment for the second cancer. My weight dropped at a rate of 1kg per week from 75 kg to 60 kg.
Then the Lord intervened. The Myelofibrosis “vanished” and only CML remained. After more tests they determined that I qualified for an experiment that was conducted on a brand new medicine against CML and other leukemia’s, I.e. Gleevec (STI). My spleen was removed and I started picking up weight to the point where I have to watch my weight at 87 kg!
Through this whole thing Ina and I was brought much closer to the Lord, not through the sickness, but because we started trusting Him for my healing. We can now categorically state that Jesus did not only come to pay for our sins, but also that His stripes brought us healing. When you are told that you need to go home and prepare your testament, while you have a son in the house that has still not finished school, there is no time to argue about positive thinking, right thinking, what I did wrong or will my death bring glory to God. You get down on your face and claim the promises of God.
Before
After
A Higher Calling
Sometimes the devil would try and place thoughts in my head that God was calling me with a “higher” calling, but I am a Senior Project Manager and an engineer, and I would never take a loved one away from his family just because I had done some bad planning. There is no project in heaven that God is busy with that cannot wait another 50 years. Besides, the Lord does not want us to divorse one another in a marriage, why on earth would He cause the divorse?
We have found out that the Word of God is true. It is truly to our benefit that Jesus went back to heaven, for we now have His Holy Spirit, the same Power that raised Jesus from the dead.
Often we would come across people who wondered how we handled this cancer so well (it took six months for me to receive my healing). I must confess to my shame that there were times when I nearly lost hope when the symptoms got worse.
Night Sweats
The night sweats got so bad that I had to sleep on a towel under my robe in order to prevent the bed from getting wet right through. I would wake up and feel as if I was drowning. In the day, my temperature control was gone. I had to drink cold water and hot coffee to regulate my temperature. I was no better than the Israelites in the dessert. But I did not stay down. Every time I fell, I got up with the help of Ina and our children.
Looking at the Facts
Sometimes I would study the sickness on the Internet, but that destroyed my faith completely. Each time I saw somebody die prematurely, my faith would dwindle. I decided to leave the properties of the cancer for the doctors and I would concentrate on the Word of God. Everywhere I could, at work and at home, I would stick A4 pages against the walls with the promises of God.
- Facts destroyed our faith
- Reading the Bible built it again.
I did not deny the reality, I just refused to accept that it had any authority over the Word of God. What you see is not what you get – what you believe, is what you get!
You must know that I was not afraid of death. If I die, I am going to heaven – I know that because I accepted that Jesus paid for my sins. But I do not want my wife to remain behind alone. I want to see my children cared for. I want to play with my grandchildren. I want the Word of God to be Yes and Amen. By not studying cancer I did not ignore reality, I just refused to believe that reality had any authority over my life. The Word of God rules my life. I walk by His Word and not by symptoms of sickness. His Word sometimes commands us to walk on water, sometimes to walk through the red sea, but His Word is never dependent on the realities of the situation.
The Lord is good, and I had the privilege of experiencing it firsthand.
What do you Believe?
But the healing was not immediate in my case. While we trusted on His Word from July to December, the news just got worse.
“But the seed on the good ground are they, which in an honest and good heart, having heard the Word, KEEP IT, and bring it forth with PATIENCE”.
His Word says:
Mat_17:20 And Jesus said unto them, Because of your unbelief: for verily I say unto you, If ye have faith as a grain of mustard seed, ye shall say unto this mountain, Remove hence to yonder place; and it shall remove; and nothing shall be impossible unto you.
Luk_17:6 And the Lord said, If ye had faith as a grain of mustard seed, ye might say unto this sycamine tree, Be thou plucked up by the root, and be thou planted in the sea; and it should obey you.
Therefore, even healing will not be Impossible.
- Jesus did not only die for our sins
- He was beaten so that we could claim healing
Isa_53:5 But he was wounded for our transgressions, he was bruised for our iniquities: the chastisement of our peace was upon him; and with his stripes we are healed.
1Pe_2:24 Who his own self bare our sins in his own body on the tree, that we, being dead to sins, should live unto righteousness: by whose stripes ye were healed.
A Spiritual War
The only problem was that the symptoms kept my eyes on the problem and not on Jesus. This is what is meant by “spiritual warfare”.
“Though we walk in the flesh, we do not war after the flesh. The weapons of our warfare are mighty through God to the pulling down of strongholds. Casting down every imagination that exalts itself against the knowledge of God”.
I knew that the Lord could heal me, but the symptoms just did not want to go away. I had a fever that ranged from 35 – 39 degrees centigrade. My body’s temperature controller was completely messed up and I just did not have any strength – not even to pack my own bags to go to hospital! The Lord said that I should not watch the symptoms, but when you have a temperature like that, it is just a little more difficult than usual.
Spiritual warfare:
Fighting against thoughts that are not in line with God’s Word
… even if you wake up soaked in your own sweat
My spiritual war was to bring into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ. When I woke up in the middle of the night, completely soaked in my own sweat, getting my thoughts into line with those of Christ was nearly impossible. But I had no other choice. Only our Lord could heal me from those two cancers.
The war was bloody. One day I would feel as strong as an elephant and I would walk a couple of kilometres with Ina, only to come home in a terrible temperature for the rest of the evening. Playing the piano and singing: “God will make a way where there seems to be no way” took on a completely new meaning.
Back to Basics
For the first few months I did not have a Word from God. All Ina and I did was to refresh our memories as to the basic conditions of being able to call ourselves children of God. Because many people do not know their rights, they are not claiming their inheritance. They are still going to heaven, but they are not prosperous on earth.
The Bible also teaches us:
“Verily, verily” (in plain Afrikaans – sowaar as wragtag sê ek nou vir julle:)
- “He that believes on Me, the works that I do, shall he do also; and greater works than these shall he do; because I go to My Father”.
- “And whatever you will ask in My Name, that I will do, that the Father may be glorified in the Son. If you ask anything in My Name, I will do it”.
Wondering if God can or will heal a couple of cells sending out wrong messages (which is what the Leukaemia I had was doing), is an insult to the God that designed and created the whole universe.
- “Therefore I say unto you: What things you desire, when you pray, believe that you receive them – and you shall have them”.
The only condition is that you believe that what you pray for will be done.
But what about the people who died around me? Did they not love God? Did the same rules not apply for them?
Sure it did. BUT I am not allowed to use them as examples. I am not allowed that they should become my model in life. I have to believe what God’s Word says.
Standing on His Promises
This is why it was not just important for me to find out IF God wanted me to be sick or be healed, I also needed to find out whether this was the end for me or not. Would God heal me or would I go to heaven?
I am not afraid to die. If I die, I am going straight to heaven. It is my wife, children and God’s promises that I am worried about. If I die on age 50 of sickness, what does that teach you about God’s promises? Nothing! There will also be no difference between me and others that have died.
You see, God told me that I would take His family into the promised land. This does not mean that I am now going to die and lead the others into death! It means that I will lead them into the promised land! When people die, they do not need me to take them to heaven. I am not one of the angels in “Touched by an angel”, I am a son of the Almighty God!
- “They that trust in the Lord are like mount Zion, which cannot be removed, but abides forever”.
- “Bless the Lord, o my soul, and forget not one of His benefits: who:
- Forgives my iniquities
- Heals my diseases
- Redeems my soul from destruction
- Crowns me with loving-kindness and tender mercies
- Satisfies my mouth with good things so that my youth is renewed like an eagle”.
If we do not understand these sayings or do not go to God and insist on them, you will not get anything from Him. He wants you to see what is in your own heart. The only way that you can see what is in your own heart, is to see what comes out of your mouth when you are in trouble.
Do you use your mouth to pray to God and insist on His promises, or are you using it to try and find out Why me, o Lord? Asking why this is happening to you does not indicate to God that you are taking Him at His Word and is a sure sign that you are not trusting Him to perform what He said He would do.
- “Do you not know that you have been bought with a price? THEREFORE: Glorify God in your body and glorify Him in your spirit, which are God’s”.
Do you honestly think I was able to glorify God with a body that was riddled with cancer?
Do you think I was happy with my body? I would have swapped my 60kg body with a 150kg one any time, as long as the cancer was swapped out as well.
My body was an insult to God’s provision in my life. It showed that I had no special privileges above people who were not born again. Having two cancers that prevented me from getting treatment was a death penalty – as if a curse was spoken out over my life.
BUT I knew my God. I knew that He was a God of Righteousness (I am washed by the blood of Jesus), a God of judgement (where He judged the situations and made decisions) and a God of Loving-kindness (and I definitely needed that).
The Word states that His people PERISH because of a lack of knowledge. I was not about to perish because I did not have the knowledge and I kept on searching the Scriptures for healing or dying.
On 21 July, God gave Ina a word for me that I would understand only months later:
- “Because Johan has put his love on Me, I will deliver him. He will call upon me and I will answer him. With long life will I satisfy him and show him My salvation”
Why was it so important that I believed that God would heal me? Apart from being able to one day see my grandchildren and play with them, being with the most wonderful woman in the world and the best children in the world, I needed to be blessed with a long life because the Work that I needed to do was not finished yet.
- “But without faith it is impossible to please God. For he that comes to God must believe that He is, and that He is a Rewarder of them that diligently seek Him” – Not the casual enquirers, those that Diligently seek Him“.
- “For verily (so wragtig) I say unto you: That whosoever shall say unto this mountain “Be thou removed and cast into the sea, and shall not doubt in his heart but shall believe that those things which he says will come to pass, he shall have whatsoever he says“.
- “Therefore, I say unto you, what things so ever you desire, when you pray, believe that you receive them, and you shall have them”.
I did not only ask for my healing. I prayed for Matthew who spent the time with me in hospital when my spleen was removed. But when we went to look him up a couple of weeks later, he was dead – a young boy busy writing his final school exams. It felt as if something died within me too.
But that will not stop me from believing God’s Word. His Word has more authority than my experiences.
Do you think I am arrogant? I KNOW I am. I am arrogant because I know my God and the Power of His Love. I am arrogant because He cannot lie. I am arrogant because He really loves me.
You see, if you believe that your prayers are answered too, we will prevent people from being sick and dying before they have had a long and prosperous life.
Stand up and be counted among the Melchizedek priesthood, being a priest and a king. We are not just passing through this life, we are supposed to subject the world under our feet (a command that was given to Adam) and rule this joint. But because of our lack of knowledge, we are perishing and allowing others to perish around us.
It is not because I am such a wonderful person that I am able to pray for the sick and raise the dead. “You have not chosen Me, but I have chosen you and ordained you, that you shall bring forth much fruit and that your fruit shall remain, that whatsoever you shall ask the father in My Name, He will give it to you. Love one another”.
We are not loving one another if we ask just for enough money for ourselves, you need more money so that you can bless the Gospel singers etc. You are not loving others if you are healthy, but when you can ask for health for others and know that your request will be granted – because He said so.
My Word from God
Although I knew all of this and had all the promises stuck on my wall at work and at home, I did not have my special verse – apart from the one previously mentioned that I did not quite catch then.
Then, on Saturday night 4 August, God spoke to me again:
“You shall not die, but live, and declare the works of the Lord. The Lord has chastened me, but did not give me over to death. I will praise Thee, for You have heard me, and become my Salvation”.
Thankful
Now I am back to my original weight. and I am declaring the Works of the Lord to you so that you may be encouraged, and get out of any difficult situations you have landed up in.
During the peak of my sickness, I applied for a wonderful position in Johannesburg at head office. I could not go to Johannesburg for the interview, even though they offered me a first-class plane ticket. I ended up doing the interview via video conferencing. People asked us whether we were not afraid to move to Johannesburg. No, because the same God that took me through the valley of the shadow of death, can and will take us through the valley of Johannesburg.
Jesus took our infirmities and bare our sickness so that we do not have to carry it any more.
“So do not throw away your confidence; it will be richly rewarded. You need to persevere so that when you have done the will of God, you will receive what He has promised”.
“For the Lord has not given us a spirit of fear, but of Power, Love and a sound mind”.
All we have to do, is use our minds to realise that we do not have to accept the tidings of doctors, specialists or other people.
We need to use our minds to realise that we can ask for anything we want so that our joy may be full.
I am thankful for what God has done in my life. Ina and I are “crying thankful” – a thankfulness that sometimes overtakes you, then all you can do is weep silently. This sometimes happens in a restaurant and then we wonder what the other people will think! Here we are eating, and Ina is crying, or I am crying. They must think that we are terrible to each other, making your husband / wife cry in a restaurant!
“He did not spare His only Son, but delivered Him up for us all. How will He not with Jesus also freely give us all things?”
When will we stop to be of little faith?
What do I do when I start doubting? I start the spiritual battle immediately with the Words: “It is WRITTEN….!!!!!!!” I will not look at a TV program or a video where people are dying. The TV makes it out to be something special or romantic. It is not – just ask people who have lost their loved ones. We know we will some day see them again, but we do not have to be separated in the first place!